10.15.10

As I type, the time reads 2:04 PM CST. And I know...that in just 41 minutes, it was exactly 6 months to the minute that I received the phone call informing me that we had lost our friend Steve. I can't believe six months have already passed that we have been without him.

We are healing and adjusting to this new life--though I know we'll never fully accept it. We have had very rough nights and very wonderful nights and a bunch of in-between nights...but his presence (or lack of) always is at the front of our minds. I don't know that that will ever change.

Our hearts are still heavy and we still miss him and mourn him as much as we did six months ago. What I wouldn't have done to have been able to pick up the phone and call him Saturday night.

Steve, Steve, Steve. Always missed, never forgotten.

mosque at ground zero

Never, in a million years, could I have ever imagined that I would type those words, "mosque at Ground Zero."

On Tuesday, August 3, a NYC panel voted to clear the way for construction of a mosque just two city blocks away from ground zero.

From The Columbus Dispatch:

Shortly after the panel voted, Mayor Michael Bloomberg called the mosque project a key test of Americans' commitment to religious freedom.

"The World Trade Center site will forever hold a special place in our city, in our hearts," said Bloomberg, a Republican turned independent. "But we would be untrue to the best part of ourselves, and who we are as New Yorkers and Americans, if we said no to a mosque in lower Manhattan."

Um...excuse me, Mr. Bloomberg, but I don't think the opposition is opposed to a mosque in Manhattan. I think the opposition is opposed to a mosque at GROUND ZERO. Regardless of "the message" that building a mosque there would "send" to America--the radicals (you know, the ones that flew airplanes into the towers in the first place) will view this as a victory. A coworker expressed that she thought they would most likely view it as a shrine to the damage that they did to us that day.

I am sick to my stomach over this. It's a slap in the face, in my opinion. This will not encourage "religious tolerance," any more than it will encourage "religious INTOLERANCE." In my opinion NOTHING related to religion should be built anywhere near Ground Zero. 3,000 people were killed that day from over 30 countries and numerous religions.

If the mayor of New York feels that to deny a mosque in that location is to be untrue to themselves as New Yorkers, well, then I feel that to spend any money in New York City would be untrue to my beliefs that we are all Americans and we were all devastated that day. Anything more specific than a multi-cultural (multi-religious) ANYTHING is disrepectful to the victims of that tragic, tragic day. (please read: I do not want a Catholic church or a Baptist church or a Buddhist temple there...I want anything built in that specific area to represent ALL cultures and ALL religions).

To me, doing anything less than that is an insult to the other cultures, creeds, religions, etc. that died that day. I keep seeing a bunch of comments, "what about the muslims that died" and "it's about tolerance." It breaks my heart, but allowing a mosque would not create tolerance. It would re-open wounds that are mending...why can't a MULTI-CULTURAL community center be built there to promote religious tolerance? Why does it have to be a specific religion--at that, the specific religion that these radicals came from?

I have no intention of ever going back to NYC (tourism is more than people from other countries, Mr. Mayor)--and I encourage you to do the same.

5/14/10--one month tomorrow

So. I keep staring at the calendar and seeing that day approaching. The 15th. Tomorrow at 2:45 pm will be exactly one month to the minute that I received the devastating call about our friend Steve. It just keeps going over and over in my mind. I can't believe it will be a month in less than 24 hours that he has been gone.

This past month has really shown us all how much Steve really meant to so many people. He touched so many lives during his short life--brought so many smiles and so much laughter. Every time Tim's phone rings I expect it to be Steve--calling about sports or asking what we're up to. I keep seeing him around town, catching glimpses of him here and there.



I go back to the morning of my wedding quite often in my head. It was storming like crazy and though I was about to begin the happiest day of my life, I felt myself quite sad. I was the only person awake in the house, so I went to sit out on my front porch and listen to the rain. I kept thinking about Steve and worrying about Tim. Why did this have to happen? The rain briefly stopped and an overwhelming calmness washed over my body. I knew at the instant, that though our friend was not with us physically, he'd be there with us in every other way. The calm lasted the rest of the day and into the night. Thank you for the calm Steve. It was a calm only you could bring.



About a week after the wedding, I finally got a chance to sit down and watch the video of the wedding ceremony. This may sound cheesy to some of you--and maybe it is...but I still get goosebumps thinking about it. After the storms, the sun came out and April 24 turned out to be a gorgeous spring day. The sun was blaring through the stained glass windows, our spirits were high. Watching the video, I noticed a blue light shooting from the ceiling to the floor, to the spot where Steve would be standing. I know it was just a reflection caused by the stained glass windows--but my heart and spirit believe that was Steve telling us he was there with us.



One month of many months. Always loved, never forgotten. RSJ.



Just so this is not a completely depressing post, here is another shot from our wedding. It's me and Tim during our first dance.